DEAR "MODERN MAN"

Five pieces of KFC chicken and a pack of regular French fries cost 550 shillings or approximately $6, but in Njaanuary you can get yourself a piece for just 200 shillings. Now, somebody tell me what is happening to this generation of men? Or is it the women? Several weeks ago, I met a guy; good looking, well-built with a silky-smooth melanin laden skin. Let’s call him Joe. So, Joe is a property investment advisor and he lives in another town- a relatively small one. As expected, we had a few “how are you?” texts thereafter and then it’s been a month since we talked.

Last week Joe texted asking why I had been so quiet and I told him I had been busy with work. He then went ahead to mention that he had been in the capital the previous week, apparently on leave. How typical!! The conversation was going on pretty well until he mentioned that I had missed an opportunity to savor KFC chicken. OK! OK! OK! OK!!!  For a moment, I was speechless. It sounded like missing a flight or worse still a ticket to heaven, and I spent the next few hours wondering which world this dude was living in. So, I just texted back asking him to halla the next time he visits the capital.

Anyway, last week I read something that I haven’t been able to stop thinking about.

That the modern-day Kenyan woman does not deserve dowry or even a wedding because there are very few or no virgins left or the ones available for marriage are not wife materials. That dowry is like an investment and the return on investment for the modern day woman is nil.  

OK! OK! OK! OK!!! I do not wish to take you through the very lucid process of coitus but in 90 percent of cases it involves a man and a woman, a penis and a vagina. Which begs the question, are these women, who are no longer virgins, having sex by themselves? And unless I am missing out on something, there is nowhere in the history of the world where a woman ever made herself pregnant.

Secondly, I do not understand how a sane human being can equate a few thousand shillings and a few pieces of animals (Read dowry) to the worth of the life if another. If that is how we are going to valuate life then I believe a man with such a mindset is worth five sick, diarrhea stricken, thin looking broiler chicken and a twenty-shilling note.

That the women of this age have no respect for men. 

HILARIOUS! Why is the modern man screaming and begging to be respected? We miss the real men too. The one who didn’t spend the entire weekend club-hopping and drinking like the world is ending; the one who was responsible; the one who didn’t expect to be taken care of and kept by a woman but worked his butt off to take care of himself; the one who didn’t light fires left right and center like he is the Bill Gates of Africa; the man who respected himself; the man of the old who naturally commanded respect not by screaming for it but by being A MAN.

That our mothers persevered men who used to say ‘come here woman!’ 

Unless you’ve been tried, tested and proven to naturally, effortlessly command respect, take a chill pill and if you’re looking to marry without paying dowry then feel free to marry your M...!